Looking back on the memories of…..
The past year has had some overwhelming tests, and even more overwhelming trials. To say that my life has come full circle would be a significant understatement. I look back at where I was last year right at this very moment and I can barely see a trace of the person I am today. That person was incredibly bitter, very unhappy, overwhelmed and spent a lot of energy trying to please everyone. Although there is still a shadow of that person hanging around, a small trace that comes about whenever things get particularly rough, she is mostly gone. Outgrown. Replaced by a happier, healthier, more natural me. A me that I really didnt remember existed.
This last years exhausting changes have made me hope that every year does not bring as many life altering experiences. I cant help but ask myself what will this year bring? Will I sit back next year and sigh in awe over how different my life is? What big changes sit just around that next corner?
I know that I am not the only one who changed this last year, I know that my loved ones, my formerly loved ones, and those around me have also succeeded in moving forward with their lives. It is hard to see people who were such an enormous part of your existance move forward, it is painful, but it is also so pleasant. I guess we all outgrow our previous lives at some point.
I recently experienced my first pang of growing pains since my separation and divorce. I found that my ex has moved forward and will be making some big life changes. Although his bringing this to my attention was meant to cause me harm, it did so much more than that. It brought me peace. There was a time, somewhere between him asking me for a divorce and the actual signing of the papers, when I thought that we would still be stuck to each other in some way or another for eternity. Then I met Hobby and I knew that I wanted to be free of my ex, and what ever hold he had on me forever. The new knowledge has brought me such joy that I can almost not put it into words… Im free. We’re free. Its really done.
Now I feel that I can continue to move into my new found life with a postive energy, a renewed spirit. I feel light, and almost giddy. This is going to be a good year. I can feel it in my soul.
I want to know how have you changed this year?