Archive for March, 2010
Difficult decisions
The girls had their vet appointments for their overseas screening visits, and it was both good and bad. The good is that Giada’s heart murmur looks great, and that she is in great shape. The vet cleared her for temperment and said that she will be a wonderful family dog and great with our kiddos.
Then we went on to talk about Harley. Her health is fantastic, and she is a sweet sweet dog. Sadly now came the bad news, she was not cleared for temperment. The vet feels that after the abuse she suffered from my Ex and the fact that she is so shy now that she would not be able to handle to huge transition. She wasnt cleared.
After spending the weekend putting alot of thought into what to do, I was able to find a friend of mine who is in love with Harley and would welcome her into their home. Harley is well known at their house and gets along well with their dog. This friend has swooned over Harley for years and I know that she will be well loved and taken care of there.
This was a very difficult decision, but Harley has made leaps and bounds in coming out of her shell in the last two years and I hate to have to leave her behind at all. I know she will be happy there. I know that this is the right decision. She joined her new home last weekend, and I have been going to visit her every day just to make sure that she is adjusting well. She is being spoiled and pampered!
Im going to miss her like crazy, and Giada already misses her. Its never easy to have to chose to leave behind a family member.
Whoosh Whoosh Whoosh
That is the sound that baby beans heart beat makes when I am listening to it on the doppler. I was able to share this wonderful sound with my husband before he left for NewHome. The look on his face was so priceless, Ive never seen anyone so excited to hear a heartbeat!
I recieved the doppler as a hand me down from a good friend and blogger Ms.J. This particular doppler was passed down after two other bloggers had successful pregnancies after difficulties. This is a lucky doppler. There have been three healthy babes born after their mothers and fathers were provided the comfort of hearing their whooshing heartbeats.
The moment I recieved it in the mail I needed to use it. I second the wand touched the cool gel on my belly I felt a calming presence of three amazing women placing their hands and luck on our Baby Bean. I whooshing sound was beautiful, and every time I use it I am comforted and my fears are relieved, but nothing was as comforting as the sense of peace I felt from recieving this gift of love.
To the women before me, I send you thanks, I send you love, I will not let this legacy down. This luck will be passed on. Im sure of it.
From my family to all of yours,
Thank you this has meant so much to us.
The results
After the anticipation nearly caused me to stroke out, I found that I didnt get what I wanted. On the other hand I didnt get the shaft either. I did wind up in Med/Surg, in the Respiratory step down unit. Its a tele unit, so not such a bad thing.
I think that in general the assignments were handed out fairly. It didnt seem like the “favorites” all got their first choices, in fact those one seemed to get the most disapointment. And there were people who got the creme de la creme who I dont think deserved it. But I guess the choices were made based on more than what I can see from observation.
At first I got the assignment and thought “it could be worse”. Im relatively happy with where I will be, but I wont lie and say that Im not incredibly disapointed. I busted my buns in L&D, my grades reflect it. My evals from the instructors reflect it. But alas, I didnt get it. It took about two hours and now Im crushed. I feel a little let down that I was so clear about my preference and didnt get anywhere near what I wanted.
Im taking tonight to have my pity party. Tomorrow I will wrap my brain around trying to focus on the assignment and the tasks ahead.
Does breastfeeding offend you?
I was reading about how DELTA airlines doesnt allow breastfeeding in the cabin of their flights. They require that nursing mothers take their infants into the lavatory to feed the babies.
When I read this I started to FUME!! First, I think the concept of feeding anyone in a nasty bathroom is disgusting. Second, HOW DARE ANYONE DICTATE TO ME WHEN TO FEED MY CHILD. Third, it has been proven that nursing a child during take of and landing can relieve any discomfort that the infant can feel during the altitude change. It also keeps the baby quiet, making everyone around the baby more comfortable!
So what do you think? If you were on a plane and the woman sitting next to you began nursing would you be offended? Do you think that it is ok for society to dictate when and where this can be done?
The anticipation is killing me
Tomorrow I find out about my mentorship location(s). It could be a large multitude of combinations. Basically we get 10 weeks of mentorship split into two five week terms. We were asked to pick our top three locations, and I picked L&D, ED, and Pediatrics. I would even be happy with ortho though. I love ortho!
The areas for them to sort us all include these: L&D, ED, ICU, PEDS, Many Med/surg floors, and Long term care.
There are about 62 students in our class that have to be divided into those locations. We are supposed to have two separate rotations, so we each need two locations. Understandably this is a huge task. I know that there are many factors that go into sorting the student nurses into the locations. They take into account our request, our ability, available mentors, and students per facility. This means that basically, not everyone is going to get what they requested.
Because I have been so verbal about my general dissapointment with the program, and have been very outspoken with the short comings of this school, I have a feeling that I will not get any of the locations that I requested. Its just a gut feeling. I dont mean to say that they would flat out be vendictive and punish me, but….we will see tomorrow. Perhaps I will have to eat my words then. Perhaps.
Until then, all I can do is pray. I want to be an L&D nurse so badly. I love the autonomy and real difference a good nurse can make in L&D. I know that this is my calling in life. I can feel it. And I know how disapointed I will be if I wind up getting the shaft and spending my 10 weeks of mentorship in Long Term Care and some sort of post of recovery rather than where my passion can further develop.
Just a few more hours and I will find out. My Nursing career is just starting….I cant believe that this part of my schooling is almost over. It seems like just yesterday I started this blog. And soon it will be time to graduate from it. Time flies.
15 weeks 1 day
How far along? 15 weeks 1 day (Although the ultrasound says 15weeks 5 days)
Total weight gain/loss: Still down…no gain.
Maternity clothes?: Its maternity clothes from here on out. And now something even more fun….my bras are all too small. WTF?? They are gonna start calling me Boobzilla.
Stretch marks? Noticed one new one. Great.
Sleep: Last weeks burst of energy is gone. Now its back to 8hrs a night and a 3 hr nap. I love sleep but, I am only able to sleep about 45-60 mins before I need to run to the potty. Baby like to lay low on my bladder!
Best moment this week: Registering for Babies r us and sending out my graduation invitations!
Worst Moment this week: Having hormonal crying jags that leave me feeling like I am riding an emotional roller coaster!
Movement: Feeling movement, talked to the doctor about it and he agrees that the goldfish feeling is baby!
Food cravings/aversions: My eyes are bigger than my stomach, I keep ordering things that I used to be able to eat, and now….I can barely eat 1/3. I still cant handle meat, and the smell of raw meat gags me.
Belly Button in or out?: In for a long time but now is mishapen. Strange. And its really really sensitive.
Gender: Now I am of the belief that it is a boy. The reason is simple, when I cry, I feel like I used to in high school when I would break up with someone. I believe only a boy can make you feel so rotten! On a serious note though…I would love to have a little boy just as much as I would love to have a little girl!
What I miss: Coffee, wine, chocolate, and my body.
What I am looking forward to: The next ultrasound at the end of April.
Weekly Wisdom: ”Growing a human is hard work!”
Milestones: Feeling the baby move, and really feeling truly pregnant!
Symptoms: General fatigue. Moving slow and thinking how great it feels to go swimming! Dreaming about babies!!
Fabulous Friday
As of today it is just a waiting game for the move. Less than 90 days until I am on the plane with the dogs and heading to NewHome. Im so excited.
I really cant wait to get a fresh start in a new place and get some much needed rest and relaxation!
The Hubby has been exploring and finding fun and exciting places for us to visit, and lots of new food places to sample!
All in all it has been a wonderfully busy week. Next week starts back to school, including finding out where my mentorship location will be! Im still keeping my fingers crossed for L&D, but Im am just ready for school to be finished so I will take where ever I can get!
And the best news so far….My Momma is coming home for my big Ultrasound!!
And it doesnt say “love Earl”
Awhile back I heard this story about this cheap-ass guy who bought his girlfriend an egagement ring on ebay. Does that part scream cheap-o, no. Ebay is a useful tool.
The part that screams LOSER is the fact that this ring he bought and proceeded to propose with was engraved with the words “love Earl”. And no Mr. Cheap-ass’s name was not Earl.
He left the previous owners engraving on the ring, and proposed to his finace. Eventually she went and had the engraving removed. SHE had to get it removed. Isnt that ridiculous? And disrespectful?
So…. That brings me to my story. My husband recently gave me a beautiful gift. A three stone diamond ring. Its gorgeous! I am truly blessed with a sweet man! There was no occasion, just because he loves me. Amazing!
Once I am able to get a good picture of it, I will post it…
And it doesnt say “love Earl”.
I miss my Mom
With the turmoil between my father and I getting to be depressing and rather annoying, it makes me miss my Mom.
My father and I have always had a close relationship but with his new relationship and with my upcoming move we have become distant and its sad.
All these circumstances leave me wanting to run away. I just want to get to NewHome. I just want life to go back to the way it was years ago.
Growing up is hard. Moving away is hard. But Im ready.
Getting used to it
I hate to say it but I am starting to get used to the idea of being pregnant. Like I have this expectation that when I wake up I will still be pregnant. Its weird.
I spent the ebtire first trimester praying that this baby would continue to grow and now….I spend every day in awe of the fact that against everything I believed it is still doing its thing!
The nausea and vomiting seem to have passed and thankfully I am finally getting an appetite. Mostly I am just incredibly thirsty.
Now its time to start gettig everything together to have this baby when we do the nig move. Have to take thw dogs to the vet and get them ready for the new home and prepared for the move.
I just cant believe I am having my last spring break. After this the only break will be whn the kiddos have spring break!
Wow
14 weeks 1 day
How far along? 14 weeks 1 day (Although the ultrasound says 14weeks 5 days)
Total weight gain/loss: Still down…. but havent really kept track this week.
Maternity clothes?: Still loving the maternity clothes, but started looking for a nicely formal dress for graduation, and found that maternity dresses look like ONE GIANT SHEET!
Stretch marks? None from baby
Sleep: I sleep good, but I seem to only need about 7 hrs. Starting to miss napping.
Best moment this week: Having almost no nausea. Feeling great and being released from the high risk doctor.
Worst Moment this week: Saying goodbye to my husband for a few months.
Movement: Flutters still. Nothing definite, but definitly feeling “something”.
Food cravings/aversions: Suddenly I have no appetite. Even when Im hungry food doesnt sound very appealing.
Belly Button in or out?: In for a long time but now is mishapen. Strange. And its really really sensitive.
Gender: No clue.
What I miss: Chocolate and wine.
What I am looking forward to: The next ultrasound at the end of April.
Weekly Wisdom: Second trimester is amazing.
Milestones: Packing boxes for the move and labeling them “baby”.
Symptoms: Feeling more swollen around my middle and I get tired easily, but Im back at the gym and feeling great about it!
Grades and such
So…grades posted and I rocked another quarter! Im super stoked at the results and really couldnt have asked for more!
I cant believe that the only things standing between me and my RN are 10 weeks of mentorship and the NCLEX.
I think back to 6 years ago when I first started the journey to nursing and I just am in awe that Ive come this far. It really seems like just yesterday I was taking the COMPASS test and enrolling in Calculus and English Comp.
In about 80 days I will be getting my pin and can be officially called a Nurse. My children will be born to a Nurse mama, my husband married to a Nurse. Its crazy.
They say “once a nurse, always a Nurse”. Im making the first level of my life plan complete. Now just to finish my BSN and decide if I want my Masters or PHD. The options are unlimited.
I think seeing my the grades from my last ever test in Nursing school has made it really sink in….Im gonna graduate!
Being a military wife is hard…
Its even harder when you have to say goodbye to your spouse. My best friend is leaving today and heading to NewHome. Our movers should be here in a couple days and then I will be living out of a suitcase for the next 90ish days.
As I sat folding the last of my husbands clean clothes last night and watched him pack to leave I was suddenly overwhelmed that I will be living in a space without all my daily reminders of him. I will be down to basics, reliving my childhood.
Being a military wife makes you nomadic. The change of scenery keeps you going, and you realize sadly to never get to comfortable in one place because the move will have to happen eventually. And the positives of all of that is that I have been able to make long term friends who understand the lifestyle and are willing to write, call, email and send packages to keep in touch. I have people lined up to come and visit us, and since NewHome is so exciting the list just keeps getting longer! 
Im not complaining about my husbands profession, not in the slightest. He is the most amazing person in the world, and I would rather have him in my life part time then not have him in my life. We may spend our time together trying to live for all the time we were apart, but I wouldnt trade it. Not at all.
Im blessed to live in a community that is heavy on the military support. I have a ton of resources around me to help me get through this move without too much worry. And for the most part I am excited.
But still, his bag are packed and I am folding the last of his underthings. The bathroom is void of his toothbrush and razors, and the only shampoo is mine.
Its strange….but suddenly the queen size bed seems way to big.
Packing boxes through tears
One side effect of pregnancy that I will never get used to is the crying. The sudden down pour of tears that can make me go from smiling and cheery to wondering WTF just happened.
Tonight as I sit in the house and start weeding through our stuff and packing away memories I am suddenly overwhelmed. We are moving. Its begining to be painfully obvious to me. I always knew we were moving to NewHome but in the last few hours I started to really feel the effects of us leaving.
In less than 48 hrs my hubby will be enroute in NewHome. In less than 100 days I will arrive there. And in 180 days (give or take) BB will be making his or her appearance.
Those time frames all seem like they are all so close. I wish for both the time to speed up and slow down.
But in the mean time, I have a lifetime worth of stuff to go through. If you dobt hear from me tomorrow Im probably buried under the pile of clothes that I need to take to the goodwill.
Can I take my birthcontrol pills with diarrhea?
Well….I prefer to take them with water, but if you want to I guess you could. Just make sure you are using a disposable cup….
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Sometimes its all about how you word things, right?
Only the NCLEX is left
Wednesday I took the last ever exams for my Nursing Career. They were the hardest tests I have ever taken in my life. I walked in feeling prepared, and confident. I got the exam in my hands and became tachycardic and diaphoretic (heart racing and sweaty to my non-nursing folks). Suddenly all the med/surg material was written in German. All the professional role development exam was written in Chinese. I was lost. I took twice my normal amount of time to finish the exam, and still feel like I dont know what I answered or if it was correct.
I will find out the test results early next week. And I am sweating it. I really wish that there was a little more instant gratification in testing. More immediate results. But alas that is not the way it will be. I have to wait.
So now, assuming that everything went well in the exams, I have completed the last ever exams in my nursing school days. Only the NCLEX is left.
I will be spending the rest of the weekend praying that I am blessed with passing scores.
Baby showers are annoying!
Once you announce that you are pregnant you get bombarded with a ton of questions.
“When are you due?”
“What do you want, a boy or a girl?”
“Are you gonna breastfeed?”
“What names have you picked out?”
“When is the baby shower?” or alternately “Have you registered?”
….continue times infinity. I have to admit I am also guilty of many of those questions in response to hearing that someone is pregnant. I guess I never really realized how difficult it is to me bombarded with the 20 questions game. I dont mind so much by email or comment, but in person it is really hard to answer those questions. The words just never come out the way I hope that they will.
But here this post brings me to the baby shower question. I am in a dilema. All of my inlaws and family will be coming in for graduation in June. And with BigMove coming up to NewHome shortly after graduation there is really no time for a baby shower before I leave. My girlfriend and I have talked about having the baby shower in the same weekend as graduation and I am ok with that idea. But here is the biggest dilema….I hate baby showers! They are boring and they cause me to have some serious anxiety. Ive done alot of reading about other peoples ideas for baby showers and I just cant think of a great way to do a baby shower without annoying the mom to be (me!).
Anyone have any ideas? Things that can be for couples as I dont want my male relatives to feel left out. And nothing too overwhelming. Ideas?
Daylight savings time is a waste of an hour
This year I really didnt have any reason to complain. Really. I didnt have to work, or have school to go to the very next day, so it worked out in my benefit. However, I despise having to go around and change all the clocks. Its rather annoying.
Thankfully the clock in my bedroom will be correct again, since I didnt change it from last years DST. Its kinda nice not to have to adjust the time in my head. (And before everyone gets their panties in a bunch, its a digital clock that I just cant figure out how to set!)
Meanwhile, someone apparently told the dogs that the clocks needed to be changed because they were on track with the new DST dinner time. Waiting by the door and staring at us longingly for their chow. Silly puppies! I havent mentioned the dogs in awhile, I guess baby fever made the four legged ones seem less interesting to write about.
Harley is doing great, still a double wide and we are seriously trying to keep her on her diet and trim her down. She is still the sweetest dog I have ever met in my entire life. And really naughty. The other day I went to go and say hi to them, and couldnt find her. She was INSIDE the dog bed. She had clawed out the stuffing and crawled inside the shell of the bed. Silly girl.
Giada is finally starting to slow down. The little energizer bunny is begining to show her adult side. She is much more patient and will actually just lay down and snuggle with you. She loves to play and will rough house like a crazy girl, but when its done and over she just wants to throw her head into your lap and cuddle. She also does the funniest thing, if you are sitting on her level she will start backing up to you and will plop her hiney into you lap. Yes sir, my 80lbs Dobie thinks she is a lap dog! What a spaz!
The upcoming weeks bring shots and vet visits for them both as we get them prepared to head to NewHome. What a trip that will be!
I suddenly realize that its an hour later than I thought and my computer clock is wrong, so now I gotta run!
What type of animals do you have? Do they have any funny quirks?
13 weeks!! Second Trimester baby!!
How far along? 13weeks (Although the ultrasound says 13weeks 4 days)
Total weight gain/loss: +1, -3.5
Maternity clothes?: Im completley rocking the maternity clothes now. I have only three or four shirts that still fit. And it may be time to get new scrubs for clinicals. GASP!!
Stretch marks? None from baby
Sleep: Suddenly Im full of energy and a nap isnt needed, but when its time to call it a day Im dropping like a fly.
Best moment this week: Seeing the baby on the ultrasound. Having my husband be right there watching and see how excited he was. It was also so cool to see how much personality the baby has already and that he acts just like his daddy! (No we dont know the gender!)
Worst Moment this week: Having an idiot tell me that having this baby was a mistake. And the we should have planned this better. What people dont know is that we planned for this baby, prayed for this baby, and wanted this baby. We are thrilled to be lucky enough to get to be the parents of this little blessing.
Movement: Im feeling some flutters in my pelvis. Ive been feeling them for about two weeks, but now they are getting more obvious and more frequent.
Food cravings/aversions: Food is back to being my friend. Although Im still eating portions the size of a two years olds meal. Its just nice to be able to eat again.
Belly Button in or out?: In for a long time. I happen to have a freakishly deep belly button.
Gender: I definitly think its a boy again. Based on the attitude in the ultrasound. No matter how much we poked and prodded, the little Bean wouldnt stop sucking his thumb and move. Reminds me of his daddy (except the thumb sucking!)
What I miss: Chocolate. Im not handling chocolate much.
What I am looking forward to: Next OB appt on Tuesday!
Weekly Wisdom: Saying “the baby wants it” will really only get you so far!
Milestones: Buying the crib, bedding and some baby stuff without feeling like a fraud.
Symptoms: Excitement and amazement. I have most of my energy back! Im still having problems with my bowels (very common) and now I have a stuffy nose. Otherwise, Im happy!
