Take my body but please, give me back my complexion!
Seriously…I have eruptions all over my face. I look like a prepubescent pizza delivery boy! Its ridiculous! I have never had acne like this, ever. Its sad, and incredibly anxiety inducing. Im even afraid to post a picture for tomorrow. Terrified.
I had this epiphany last night, I was reflecting on that minute while waiting to see if baby Nolan had a heart beat and I started thinking about the relief I felt as soon as I heard that wonderful galluping. How as soon as I heard it, everything in life seemed ok. The pain in my hips disappeared, the soreness in my ribs was gone, and suddenly nothing mattered except the fact that my son is alive.
That fact has followed me these last couple days. Things get rough and overwhelming and suddenly I remember that moment of terror and the following moment of relief. Then everything is fine, wonderful and tolerable. Its a morbid moment to dwell on, but I cant help but think of it.
I think that over the past weeks as baby Nolan has had no problems and his risk demise lowered, I have forgotten how precious and easy it is for things to happen. I was so worried and focused on just keeping him in my belly that I forgot about how many things can still go wrong while he is gestating. Im trying not to over think it, and for now I will just be satisfied in the feeling that he is safe and healthy.
It was definitly humbling though. Enough so that I will even tolerate the acne without whining too much.
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