We made it another week! 25 Weeks!

How far along? 25 fabulous weeks!

Total weight gain/loss: Now up a total of 4lbs from my prepregnancy weight.

Maternity clothes?: All maternity all the time. But it is really funny when I put on a “prepregnancy” shirt and it only comes to my belly button!

Stretch marks? Yes….its sad.

Cervical Length?: 3.0cm cerclage intact.

Labor signs: No THANK GAWD! But I get a couple Braxton Hicks every day.

Medications?: Prenatals and Zantac. Nothing else for now!

Sleep: Im tired all the time, but cant seem to sleep much more than a couple hours at a time. Between the back pain and the sciatica and the round ligament pain I just cant get comfortable.

Best moment this week: Everyone feeling Nolan kick and punch. Its so nice to be able to share those special little thumps. And feeling the hiccups for the first time!!

Worst Moment this week: Cramping and some hormonal fits of crying.

Movement: He’s a mover!! And a little soccer player! The kicks are so hard he kicks my phone off my belly!

Food cravings/aversions: I was craving cake alot this week, ate waaaaay more black forest cake then I should have!

Belly Button in or out?: Still an innie…barely.

Gender: All boy!

What I miss: Being able to bend over, walking without a waddle, and not feeling so short of breath.

What I am looking forward to: Continuing to grow this amazing human being! And also going to my 3D/4D ultrasound appointment at the begining of July.

Weekly Wisdom: Follow the doctors orders that are the most conservative, it will benefit you in the long run.

Milestones: Hiccups have started which show a sign of begining lung maturity!

Symptoms: Sore muscles, achy belly button, cramping, heartburn, and lots of low back pain.

Pre-appointment jitters- part 2

Do “normal” pregnant women look forward to doctors appointments? Because I feel terrified before each appointment. I dont look forward to the ultrasounds, I find little joy at the doctors office.

For me, the doctors office represents a place of terror. It is the place where I have cried, sobbed and felt sucker punched by my body. It is the bearer of bad news.

Now I know that there is worse news that I could have recieved, and although that fact should bring me comfort, it instead makes me fear that I will be told that news next.

I am trying to stay positive, really. But after the last few weeks of bad news I just dont know how much more my nerves and heart can take.

I am trying to enjoy every second with Nolan. Trying to think positive thoughts for him.

Im keeping my fingers crossed that this is a completley uneventful appointment. I will post in a few hours after I know
Something.

Pre-appointment jitters

I thought I was finally over the fear of showing up for an appointment and getting bad news. I can feel the baby move periodically and I whip out my doppler any time I need reassurance, so appointments were becoming less stressful and almost enjoyable…until last Friday.

It hadnt really occured to me that there could be more wrong than a dead baby. I mostly focused on whether baby would have a heart beat or not, and since like I said I can now feel the baby move I was not so freaked out about that. Then with the earth shattering news of IC (incompentent cervix) and hearing the words “preterm labor”, I am now startlingly aware of the fact that there are numerous more things that can go wrong.

So here I sit a few hours before my first follow up appointment, on day four of bedrest, and Im praying that my cervical length is reassuring. Im afraid to get excited about the appointment, afraid that I will be given even worse news. Im just afraid.

I will post more once I know it. Thank you again everyone for the positive thoughts and prayers, it really is helping me get through all of this!

20 weeks and the start of Bed Rest

20 weeks

How far along? 20 weeks (Although the ultrasound says 20 weeks 4 days)

Total weight gain/loss: Havent been weighed this week. Baby weighs 11oz though!

Maternity clothes?: Yes.

Stretch marks? Still just the one.

Sleep: Its difficult because I have so much heart burn and reflux.

Best moment this week: Seeing the baby on the ultrasound again. And watching him/her kick up a storm.

Worst Moment this week: Being told that I may have a preterm baby and being put on bedrest. It was the scariest moment of my life. Everything moved so fast. Two trips to L&D this week and now bed rest until delivery.

Movement: Lots of movement during the morning hours. But yesterday was a quiet day. Much quieter than usual. Hoping that today turns out to be a little more active!

Food cravings/aversions: Im getting a cold so all I want is stuff to drink. And now Im forced to drink 3 liters of water a day, so I just want juice, soda or anything other than water.

Belly Button in or out?: Mis-shapen innie still..

Gender: I really think boy. I didnt peak at the ultrasound though, as much as I wanted to!

What I miss: Coffee and a glass of red wine.

What I am looking forward to: Being told that my cervix is either looking better or the same, making it to viability, and delivering a healthy baby.

Weekly Wisdom: Its ok to break down and cry.

Milestones: Anatomy scan complete and beautiful.

Symptoms: Heart burn, reflux, constipation, nausea, and lots of emotions over the news.

Ultrasound pics

20 weeks and beautiful….oh my little baby you have stolen my heart!

Anatomy scan-Before

Dear Baby Bean,

I am getting ready to go to your BIG anatomy scan. At this appointment your Daddy and Papa will find out whether you are a boy or a girl. I wont know for sure if you are team pink or team blue until your party in June. I am so excited to get to see you again and to see how big you have gotten.

I hope that you are awake during the exam so that we can see you moving around. And I wonder if you will be sucking your thumb during this appointment again. I am just so excited to see you.

Really my baby, I dont have a preference at whether you are a boy or a girl. Every day I wonder and every day I come to a different conclusion. But for the sake of this record I will stick with my guess that you are a boy.

See you in a little bit my sweet little bean. Grow big and strong and keep holding on!

Love,

Your Mama

Boy or girl? Boy or girl?

So….the baby shower invitations went out last week. We decided that instead of a run of the mill baby shower, we would do a gender reveal party instead! Originally we had chosen not to find out the gender, and we are still tossed up about whether we really want to know, but since we have sent out the “Big Reveal” invitations….I guess we will be finding out!

The big ultrasound is this Friday, and we have arranged for the ultrasound tech to tell my Father the gender and then he will share it with my Hubby. I am not going to find out until the day of the party! We also decided that we will be revealing the baby’s name at the party. That is the most exciting part for me!

So my dear readers….does anyone want to post a guess of what we are having?

Here is the list for my family so far:

Hubby- Boy

Me- Boy

Papa (My dad)- Girl

Grandma (my mom)-Boy

NT scan 12 weeks

Ch…ch..ch…changes

There are less than 100 days left until graduation and fewer than 120 until we move far far away. I am getting excited but…totally starting to feel the weight of all the things that need to be accomplished before we move.

On top of all of that I am starting to really notice changes in my body. The little bump, the sore hips, the increasing bust line, and the persistant nausea.

Not to mention the fact that I am having an affair with sleep. All I want to do is sleep. I lurve sleep!

According to my OB, now that I am into week 12 my miscarriage risk drops to less than 5%. Even though its not the real end of the first trimester (that happens at 13 weeks) my doctor considers 12 weeks to be the end of the first trimester and the start of the second.

Grow baby grow!

Barbie hands and feet

At my appointment the other day the doctor took a quick peak with the ultrasound machine and while we were watching we were able to see the littlest hands and feet I have ever seen in my entire life. I wish I had pictures but his machines printer was not working. The heartbeat was 168 and the doctors commented about how much the baby was kicking!

The doctor said that once I start to really feel the baby move I am never gonna get any rest because he/she was just kicking up a storm!!

Only two more weeks until the NT scan and hopefully there will be some pictures then!

Now I gotta get headed to clinicals! Only 6 more clinical days left until this quarter is over!

10 weeks

How far along? 10 weeks (Although the newest ultrasound says 10 weeks 4 days)

Total weight gain/loss: +0, -1.5lbs so far

Maternity clothes?: Maternity pants, and starting to glance at maternity shirts. Mostly Im rocking the maternity jeans or sweat pants. Its oh so glamourous over here!

Stretch marks? None from baby

Sleep: Its all I want to do. I could sleep every second of the day, with breaks to potty of course!

Best moment this week: First was having hubby around for a couple days and hearing him read to the baby. Second was seeing the baby move on the ultrasound and hearing the heartbeat again!

Worst Moment this week: The temporary freak out that ended up with an ER visit. Thanks to fibroid friend. Everything was fine, but still…it was scary.

Movement: Well….nothing specific. I saw the baby do back flips on the ultrasound this week, and I keep having weird “twinges” but nothing that I would call movement since I know it is likely a few more weeks for that.

Food cravings/aversions: I could still eat Taco Bell every single day. This week Ive spent more time praying to the porcelain gods than most drunks do, but as the wise men say “This too shall pass”

Belly Button in or out?: In for a long time. I happen to have a freakishly deep belly button.

Gender: Hubby and I are convinced its a boy. Dad and his Girlfriend say girl. Everyone else is split about 50/50.

What I miss: My complexion and my clothes.

What I am looking forward to: Seeing the doctor and finding out what the plan is for our Fibroid Friend.

Weekly Wisdom: Its ok to randomly out yourself to strangers, its the first step to admitting it to yourself. Thank you kind grocery teller for the congratulations! I really needed to hear it.

Milestones: Seeing the baby move and actually start to look like a baby.

Symptoms: Body aches and fatigue. Even my hair is tired! And I get winded after doing the simplest of things.

Random Ultrasound

Thanks to my adorable fibroid I got another chance to see the baby today!

I am measuring 10 weeks 2 days and am currently only 9 weeks 4 days.

The babies heart beat was 170 beats per minute and we saw him wave his arms around!

Fibroid friend is measuring 3 cm. And is causing some additional cramping.

All is well!

Questions and answers from the Dad

We found this little survey on another website and so the Hubby filled it out. Here are his answers:

1) How did you feel when you found out your were going to have a baby?

I got super excited. I had a feeling we were pregnant.

2) what was the first thought you had?

The family is growing !!!!!!!

3) Did you know or was it a surprise?

I had a feeling about it!!!!

4) Best thing about the pregnancy so far?

Baby is growing.

5) Worst thing so far?

Im not there to help and take care of my wife and baby

6) If you could tell other Pregnant husbands one tip what would it be?

Be there for your wife and try to do as much as you can. Read to the baby.

7) do you think its a boy or a girl?

I think it is a boy

8) Write a message to your baby:

Hi there our squido we love you and cannot wait to meet you!!!!!

9) what is one feature from the Mom that you hope the baby has?

Blue eyes. Her strength

10) What is one feature from you that you hope the baby has?

My eye brows. Smiling all the time.

Now isnt that just the sweetest thing ever?

The plan and the high risk OB

After yesterdays amazing ultrasound and fabulous appointment, I thought I should take a minute to speak about the details.

First all OB doctors run behind schedule. And it woul be wise to know that you should come prepared to
Wait for quite a while. My appointment was at 0900 and it was nearly 1100 before I saw the doctor. While this might irritate me in family practice I dont mind waiting for the OB doc. He took his time and wasnt rushed with me so I actually dont have any complaint.

Dr. H was amazing! And since he is the Complicated OB doc it looks like I will be staying with him. After a basic summary of my health history and discussing my previous losses he decided that it would be best to run a ton of tests. In my distraction from the ultrasound I didnt even ask him what all they were going to run but I will make sure to get the results.

After the basic meet and greet it was time to strip and get into the gyno stirrups for the exam. My uterus is swollen and maybe a little
Larger than it should be for the gestational age, but that could be due to my friendly fibroid. The ultrasound was wonderful! He showed me Baby Bean and I could see the little flicker of a heartbeat, it was beautiful and I couldnt help but cry.

Then he turbed up the volume and played a little snippet of the heartbeat tracing, WOW! I can honestly say that I have never heard such a beautiful sound in my life!

According to the previous doctor I was to be dur on 9/15. That date was based on my last period. Now I knew that the date was wrong because I know when I ovulated. The current measurement of BB (baby bean) shows that He will be due when I originally thought on 9/19. I am measuring approx 7 weeks and 1 day now.

So where I had originally intended to post my 8 week questions tomorrow, they will wait until Sunday.

The doctor is sending me for some additional testing, an NT scan (A test for down syndrome) and to talk with a genetic counselor.

My next appointment is in two and a half weeks and he will likely do another Ultrasound and somemore blood work. Im waiting for the fetal medicine doctor to call me to schedule to extra testing and that should also be happening in the next 3-4 weeks.

Dr. H and I discussed the benefits and risks of continuing on the Progesterone and since he has no specific
Opinion on it, I am going to continue taking it but reduce to nightly instead of three times daily. The reason is that the amount of absorption is increased while sleeping due to bed rest and the lack of gravity (they are NOT oral people!)

So Here I am. I am pregnant with a little fighter in me who is growing like crazy. The Dr sees no reason that this wont result in a real live baby and gave me the statistic of 90%+ chance of survival now that we have seen a heart beat.

Am I convinced? Not totally. But Im surr excited to get to keep moving forward with every single moment of this baby. I will enjoy as much of it as I can and be eternally greatful for every day that I am given. And then Im going to pray like crazy an do everything I can to ensure this babies safe
Arrival!

Next up… The Dr visit versus Centering choice.

Baby Bean picture

Again I apologize for the photo of a photo….

Ultrasound day update number 2

The doctor is running late. And its weird to be in a waiting room full of swollen bellies.

Trying to stay positive, but its incredibly difficult. Just need to hear that heart beat. Come on baby GROW!

Ultrasound day update number 1

Had to get some pre-appointment blood work. Im actually a little surprised that they ordered a one hour blood glucose test.

Not thrilled that it looks like a 12 year old will be drawing my blood. And the crap to drink tastes like caro syrup. Yuk

All my thoughts are focused on tomorrow

Tomorrow is the BIG ultrasound. I say it like that because this is the ultrasound that determines the fate. Its dramatic, right? If tomorrow there is a heartbeat then the babies survival rate jumps to 90% or more. If there is no heartbeat then it mean end game.

Its hard to stay in the moment with this looming over me. I wonder when all of this will stop being such a big deal and start just feeling like a normal pregnancy? Im guessing I will start being less stressed about the pregnancy the day the baby is born.

In the mean time I have classes today and the rest of the Neuro content to learn. I did well on the Neuro quiz and am hoping that it is a sign of how well I will do on the Neuro exam next week.

Only 11 days until I get to see the hubby! Its been almost a month since I saw him last. I cant wait!

The controversy deepens

So remember the other day when I said I was going to stick with the family practice doctor because I was treated so badly by the receptionist in OB?

Its amazing how quickly things change. After I made the appointment to speak with the CO of the hospital, suddenly on Monday everyone who had treated me badly (I havent had the appointment yet BTW) start calling me to see what they can do to make my experience less stressful. Seriously.

Suddenly, the complicated OB Doc (the one whose receptionist said wouldnt see me until 10 weeks) has an appointment available for me for this afternoon. Suddenly the radiology department (the same one whose tech verbally assaulted me a few weeks ago) has appointments this week to recheck Baby Bean for a heart beat, even though last week they were booked until the middle of February. Its amazing, huh?

I have to say that the stubborn part of me wanted to tell them to “shove it” and just continue with my current plan. But the responsible person who is choosing the best for me and my baby knows that I need to see the complicated OB doctor. So I conceded and accepted the appointments.

That brings me to today. This afternoon I attended my Nurse intake appointment and filled out all of my health information. I got the information, handouts and consents for the NT scan. I had nearly all my blood sucked out into 7 little vials. I was weighed, measured and told to continue doing what I am doing.

I see the complicated OB doctor on Tuesday, where I will get my physical, an ultrasound and he and I will discuss the future plans for this pregnancy, assuming that Little Bean has a heartbeat.

Now I dont mean to get too pessimistic about this, but I know that there is a chance there wont be one. I know that in my brain. But my heart prays that Little Beans heart is beating away as fast as a nearly 8 week fetus’s heart should (relatively 130-190 beats per minute (BPM)). Im praying, because Little Bean has my heart already in love with his (hers).

I had my moment today. I hope that saying it doesnt jinx it, but I had the moment where I really thought about how amazing it will be to bring home Little Bean. I thought about being a Mom to him here on Earth. I started fantasizing about nursery gear and diapering and breastfeeding and labor. Those are forbidden things. Scary things. Those things allow me to venture into creating memories with this baby that can be broken if something bad happens.

But I wont think about that today. Today I am pregnant and I love my baby. And I am thankful for the 7 weeks that I have had with Him. I am praying for another lifetime of memories, but for now I am happy with my 7 weeks and counting.

Controversial

So I promised to ellaborate on my controversial health care decision. And so I will.

If you have been reading for any length of time and recently, you may have noticed that I am pregnant and have had a miserable time with my healthcare trying to get appointments.

That being said, I needed to make a decision that would be the best for me and my anxiety level and one that would relieve some of my stress. I opted to stay in family practice and have my PCP be my OB doctor. In my hospital it is not unusual for Family practice to be used as OB care for the lower risk population. I am still planning on going to see the high risk OB for a consultation and I will express my discontent with the OB department then.

Why would I decide to do this? Well….after calling for an appointment I was soured by the support staffs general attitude. And I walked away feeling like my pregnancy had somehow incovienced the OB department. One conversation was enough for me to want to just walk away from any type of prenatal care (it was my gut reaction and not a choice I would truly make).

Here is the conversation that caused me to come to my decision:

I called OB to make my appointment (refferal is in place I just needed to schedule). I gave the receptionist my name, SSN, DOB, and EDC. She looked up my referral and said that I needed to be seen by DR. Keepmepreg (fake name obviously) and that his first available wasnt for 3 weeks. I would be nearly 9 weeks pregnant by then. I agreed to the appointment and hung up. Then it occured to me that I had seen flyers around the hospital stating that the first prenatal appointments are done at 6-8 weeks, so I called back. JoAnne (the bitchy receptionist) answered my question and confirmed that in a healthy normal pregnancy the first appointment is at 6-8 weeks, but that I would not be being seen until 9 weeks. When I asked why, since that doesnt seem to make sense to me. SHE stated “Well, lets make sure you are still pregnant by then before we give you an appointment”

I would love to say that I am exaggerating, and that all of my recent experiences with Tricare have been all in my head, but Im not. This is totally serious.

Due to all that I have been through and all the hassle and stress that this has caused I needed to make the best decision for me. One that would leave me feeling secure and stress free.

I have an appointment in 1.5 weeks with the CO (commanding officer) of the Naval Hospital to discuss the ongoing issues that have come up in just the last couple short weeks. This will also be my meeting to try and get the ultrasound tech removed from her job, a plight that I have not given up on.

So there you have it. What type of doctor did you use for your pregnancies? Family practice, OB/GYN, MidWife, Birthing center, hospital birth, or home birth?

Actual picture….Baby Bean

Ultrasound take two

 

Im posting a quick cell pic of Sweet Pea, but I will post a real scanned picture later.

Today I am 6 weeks and the ultrasound showed a gestational sac and yolk sac and the start of a fetal pole. I had some quants redrawn just for safety sake and will probably have another ultrasound next week.

The reason that seeing a heartbeat is so important is because it changes the babies survival rate to 70-90% chance! For now we are right on track. Hopefully Sweet Pea continies to stay sticky!

The first baby picture

Dont be embarassed if you cant see it, I had to be educated and now I see a bubble.

Last night I had some unusual bleed and cramping and was worried that something was wrong, so off to the ER we went. I am fully aware that there would be nothing that they could do if there was something wrong, but I needed to know one way or the other.

I got to the ER and was fully prepared for a long wait, but things went smoothly. After blood work and an ultrasound they sent me home as “Threatened Miscarriage”. My Hcg was 11,451. The ultrasound did show a little blood in my uterus, so I am hoping that it is nothing to be worried about.

The tech was phenomenal! She was able to visualize the gestational sac and a yolk sac. She did not see a fetal pole or heartbeat but said that it may just be a couple days early.

All in all, its just a wait and see game. Grow baby Grow. I have a follow up ultrasound (my original ultrasound) is on Wednesday. So hopefully we will have a heart beat then and my chances of this babies survival will go from 50-50 to 70-90% chance.

When was your first ultrasound? And what did you see?

Hating Tricare even more….and some people are idiots.

Lets start with the simple facts, I have an ultasound next week on Wednesday. The reason for this ultrasound is so that I can get in to see the OB doctor early and get some additional workup to try and keep this pregnancy. Makes sense, right?

So I get a phone call from OB today, and they want to schedule me for an appointment for Feb 2 to talk with the OB doc. Thats not too bad. But then I ask, how soon do they usually start the Ob visits? And this just blows me away. The lady says that they like to have the first visit between 6-8 weeks. So I mention to her that I will be 8 weeks already by that time and then she says “Well this appointment isnt for your first OB visit, you will have to schedule that a different time, this is just a visit to discuss your history of loss.”

SO let me get this straight, I am higher risk and therefore you are going to give me an appointment LATER than the average pregnancy? WTF? What is wrong with people? Is this making any sense to anyone else?

Im trying to keep my cool, because it seems that no one seems to understand whats going on. At this point I think the only thing on my side is prayer, and thats because the doctors and staff arent doing their jobs.

Here’s to praying that the ultrasound goes well and that all this was nothing but a speed bump.

5 weeks

Today marks 5 weeks. Every day feels like a huge accomplishment and every night I thank God that I get to be pregnant with this baby.

I am planning on answering these same questions weekly on both blogs, so for those who read both places please forgive the repetition. These questions were borrowed from another blog, you can see her site here.

How far along? 5 weeks

Total weight gain/loss: -2.0lbs so far

Maternity clothes?: A sleep bra, a fabulous invention!

Stretch marks? No new ones…..

Sleep: Horrible, cant sleep. Most nights I toss and turn. And the dreams are horrible too.

Best moment this week: Seeing the quants rise and being told that all seems normal.

Movement: Way too early for that. But lots of cramping, this I was told is also normal.

Food cravings/aversions: I suddenly am repulsed by orange juice and all things similar.

Belly Button in or out? In and will be for awhile.

What I miss: Taking long hot baths.

What I am looking forward to: Ultrasound next week.

Weekly Wisdom: If there is nothing else to do, rest.

Milestones: Baby is officially an Embryo!

Symptoms: Mild nausea in the wee hours of the morning. Sore breasts (TMI!). Bleeding gums when I brush my teeth. And a stuffy congested nose.